She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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