Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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