woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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