Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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