Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.

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(512): uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on. http://tfl.nu/0y74

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(805): View more from California

Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!

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(805): Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter! http://tfl.nu/vj10

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.

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(617): I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian. http://tfl.nu/jfuh

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(541): View more from Oregon

Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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(541): Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. http://tfl.nu/3u3d

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(517): View more from Michigan

Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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(517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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(203): Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet. http://tfl.nu/z4ao

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(970): View more from Colorado

my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned

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(970): my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned http://tfl.nu/3gli

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa

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(406): View more from Montana

Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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(406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb

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(815): View more from Illinois

walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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(815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw

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(804): View more from Virginia

I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate

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(804): I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate http://tfl.nu/clkd

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(914): View more from New York

I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

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(914): I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com? http://tfl.nu/sqoo

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.

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(913): This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for. http://tfl.nu/vkxq

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.

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(832): after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations. http://tfl.nu/2l5l

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(747): View more from California

That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!

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(747): That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away! http://tfl.nu/9pk5

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