tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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