So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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