have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize