roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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