wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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