Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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