so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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