...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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