dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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