i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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