the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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