u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize