so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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