wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize