at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
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I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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