Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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