Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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