yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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