It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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