brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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