The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize