So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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