So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
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So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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