even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize