if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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