I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize