my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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