It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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