We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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