You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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