Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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