It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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