I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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