you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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