Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize