Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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