Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
how drunk are you?
Several
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