okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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