so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They have beer where we have blood.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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