Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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