Me. At least after what I've been through.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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