Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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