He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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