you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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