u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize